Celebrate Sheer Brilliance...

Stupid people really amaze me.

I was talking with a co-worker today about speeding and cars, and my mind wandered back to something that happened when I bought a new Mitsubishi Eclipse GTS on Dec 17. I went to the dealer after work the night before to… well… drool, okay? Anyhow, I met with my good friend, Mr. Salesman, and we had a jovial conversation about how well this car performs in various weather situations. Somewhere during this conversation, Mr. Salesman comes to the realization that the guy who showed up 45 minutes before me never brought back the test drive car.

So here’s a weird moment, right? You don’t know whether to laugh or say that sucks… so I did both at once. Mr. Salesman, obviously feeling like the prestigious winner of the ‘Salesman Reject of the Year’ award, toddles off to do something while I continue to drool over my soon-to-be new toy. I heard much shouting and crying and gnashing of teeth before Mr. Salesman reappeared on the showroom floor – only he had a very large smile on his face.

Seems our would be Grand Theft Auto player here forgot about some very important details, like the dealership photocopying his ID and insurance information, or the other tiny fact his own vehicle was still AT the dealership. Brilliance on this level is truly an art form. As the police scoured this not-so-smart man’s Jeep for information, I leisurely waved goodnight to my car and went back home.

When I came in late the next morning to seal the deal, I noticed the Jeep barricaded in by 3 high-performance, showroom new Eclipse vehicles. I spoke briefly with Mr. Salesman while they pulled my shiny new toy out of detail, and he informed me that they busted the guy about 60 miles outside of Las Vegas, Nevada early that morning.

"That’s one hell of a distance to travel in only 14 hours" he tells me.

"I didn’t know my new car could go that fast, especially with an idiot behind the wheel." I reply.

I suddenly felt confident about my new purchase.