On Aging...

Sorry for my absence all, but I did warn you. Some of you didn’t take that warning seriously, because you felt there was lack of specific information in said warning. Sorry for that, but I’ve never been a ‘specific’ kind of guy all the time. Deal or get lost, yeah thanks.

So, it was that time of the year again.

On 07 April 2006, I turned another year older and hopefully another year wiser. This was a special birthday... one of those milestone ones where you get to reflect back on an entire decade rather than just the last year. Yep, That’s right, I am officially 30. Everything in the blog up to this point is pretty much a preface; the real work begins now.

I’ve had considerable opportunity lately to reflect on my so-called life. Things have been extremely hectic at home, but it’s been busy work; lots of time to think about all the decisions I made and lived with through my 20’s. I’ve made some really good ones, really bad ones, and some in-between… but hell, we’ve all done that, right?

Overall, my 20’s sucked. I had one divorce, lost a business, lost my sanity for a while, lost a part of myself… seems it was all about loss. This is all probably a good thing, as I have learned how to deal with loss. I still get myself into bad situations, I still get myself into impossible or improbable relationships, I still put way too much stock in hope, and I still am stuck in the same life situation I was stuck in at 28. Just can’t seem to get out of the rut; though admittedly, I can see it’s end coming soon.

Why just today, one of those bad idea impossible relationships ended. Actually it ended some time ago, but today it just all kind of feels… final. I won’t go on about how I feel about it, because that is for me to deal with all on my own. I can say I am not bitter, though some would disagree with me.

I had some good times... after all, for each thing I lost, I gained it at some point – so I know I am not a total failure. It’s nice to reflect back on that and re-discover my center. Hopefully, with a little elbow grease and some better luck, my 30’s will be better.

I only have one regret, really.

I regret not having my own family. Somewhere along the way, I messed that chance up, and I don’t mean with my ex wife. I don’t know who I mean, I just know I messed it up.

Onward! Onward, I say!

Oh, and just a note: Horoscopes SUCK ASS.

Aries: Think low-key effort, high impact results. Its time to calculate your efforts so you get the maximum enjoyment from the minimum output. In other words, just stop chasing stuff that wasn't meant to be.

Smacked: Upside the Head

Nam.

We’ve had this talk before, but it seems we need to have it again, because you just aren’t listening. Me and the boys got together and talked this over, and thought this might be the best way to present this to you.

Nam, you really need to quit getting involved with people who are physically or emotionally unavailable. Really, it’s killing us over here. Knock it off, okay? You can’t have ‘em, so just quit.

Regards.
The rest of you.