Closed.

Closed.

Open book, with ink and pen.
We look inside our troubled mind,
without intent to seek and find,
to justly remember all in kind.
The tale we mark, of sorrow’s end.

Waves of emotion, to and fro.
Carry us to the things unseen,
blades of memory, long and keen,
slicing us deep, stark, and clean.
Ready chaos, stout and slow.

Oh despair! We are not free!
Across our ocean far and wide,
and through another great divide,
free of wake and earthly chide.
escape we’ve found, but couldn’t flee.

The tortoise teaches with his shell.
Look out from in, to all around,
at others close and all abound,
envy of those so free, so sound.
Inward we conquer chaotic hell.

Carefully, we construct our wall.
Immune from anger, defeat, and pain;
perched atop our righteous disdain,
why can’t life just be so plain?
None shall pass! …Or we may fall.

So dons the mask of wanton miss.
Play our cards of love and hate,
jaded views, our deluded state,
and unto this we celebrate.
We understand our phony bliss.

Consuming battles of ego ensue.
Deserv-ed deliverance out of reach,
atonement life has yet to teach,
conceit and pride, façades to breach
Now, perhaps, we’ve paid our due.

Again, the struggle to stay composed.
Experience lends a helping hand,
guides us through this strange new land,
wisdom worth a grain of sand.
This hell is complete; a book, closed.

Lost!

In case you haven’t noticed, there’s nothing new here.

I am currently without a muse. I assure you I am working diligently to locate it, but as of this writing it is still lost.

If you would like to help locate my muse, I have a large stack of flyers that need to be hung around the neighborhood, as well as a list of phone numbers that need to be called.

Thanks for your concern.

Mail Call.

Heart.
1 Central Chest Way
Nam’s body, DW 63043

Attn: Love.

Over the years, you and I have worked closely on a select few, yet very important relationships. The experience from these relationships has given me a profound view of the world and the people that reside within it, and for that I am eternally grateful. I will take those experiences with me throughout the rest of my life.

It is with great sorrow, though, that I must tender my resignation to you at this time.

While the experiences gained through this have been life altering, unfortunately there are aspects of this that I am no longer willing to partake of. Specifically, ‘too much of this,’ ‘not enough of that,’ and the general ill feelings that accompany almost every relationship; these seem to be the prevalent attitude amongst partners and potential partners that we have had over the years, and unfortunately I cannot be a party to this any longer.

Perhaps this is a weak move, or perhaps this is a strong one; in either case, it is one I must make. I truly hope for your continued success in bringing two people that are meant to be together to a happy closing. I am saddened that this will not be the case in my life.

I will discontinue use of the word Love and Always from this moment on.

Respectfully,
Me.

On Innocence.

A child’s innocence sees all, for these are truly the only people in the world who are in touch with reality.

Maybe we should be taking advice from them.

The Pain of Promise.

The promise of the next day.
A promise of a day that is supposed to be better than the one prior, and the day that is supposed to surpass all other days until tomorrow comes.

The promise of a lesson learned.
A promise of tomorrow’s never-ending yesterday.

The promise of a new heart.
With the new day brings that new heart, free from the pain of yesterday.

The promise of familiar hope.
…but still we go on.

Hearts, Anyone?

Romance is not the long cruise in the Bahamas, nor is it the two hour long full body massage and bath you take with a partner. It isn’t about the long walks or drives, snuggling with popcorn and a movie, or sipping wine together by a fireplace. Those things are all ‘romantic,’ but it is not ‘romance.’ Romance is a state of emotional wellness and confidence that allows these romantic things to hold and share meaning between the lovers that experience them.

As we approach Valentine’s day, perhaps we all should think about just how important those little things that we do for one another truly are. Maybe some of us have lost sight of those little things or haven’t known them for a very long time, and as such, have lost the fire of the meaning behind them.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Internet.

That One Night...

He solemnly walked over to his stereo and placed a CD in the loader tray. The device greedily accepted his offering and began spinning the CD dutifully, preparing to read the precious contents and make them known to the world.

The soft music started as he asked her to sit comfortably on the bed. The tones of the music quickly filled the room with an ambient sense of warmth, accompanied eloquently by a soft, yet present bass, that seemingly dripped like balloons of sound from the lavishly decorated walls. Quietly, he moved behind her and positioned himself close to her back, allowing her to feel his presence behind her without any actual physical contact. Slowly, he shed her top from her body, exposing her back and shoulders to the cool night breeze from the open windows of the room. She helped him raise her hair up and she clipped it to keep it away, revealing the tender-most portions of her neck to his eyes.

As if the tips of his fingers moved with the music, and perhaps they did, he gently stroked the back of her neck in time with the changes of the beats and melodies that emanated sweetly from the speakers. Each caress feather-like but intense, as his fingertips moved down her naked back elegantly before retreating back to the base of her neck. He paused for a moment, and then repeated this motion, this time adding the tiniest loving kisses from the back of her neck to between her shoulders; light, moist nibbles that momentarily left a soft chill behind them as he followed his fingertips to her neck once again.

They glided back down once more, only this time slowly, over her shoulders, and down her arms in the lightest touch possible. His fingertips danced their way to her wrists, and then under them, before gingerly being drawn back up. She responded to this motion and raised her arms seductively above her head as he caressed the sensitive underside of her forearms. She leaned back into him and rested her arms behind his head as he continued his trip, now downward, to her elbows. With wonder and excitement, he brought his touch down so very slowly over the soft skin of her upper arms, down the side of her body, and to her waist, where he rested his arms and embraced her. He leaned in skillfully and his tongue found her exposed ear, which he softly nibbled and kissed as she brought her arms down to his and he held her.

Then… He whispered in that ear.

"I Love You."

_____________

More to come...

Tree Stuck in Cat – Firefighters Baffled.

So, I arrived at work yesterday, ready to face the day and feeling somewhat more chipper than usual. Maybe it was because of the large amount of alcohol I consumed during that end-of-the-year-totally-over-hyped-and-barbaric-sporting event known as the Super Bowl. Okay, maybe it wasn’t. Maybe I just imagined I consumed large amounts of alcohol and really didn’t. Come to think of it, that has to be the case; otherwise I would have stumbled into the bathroom, got sick, passed out on the centerfold of a dirty magazine, woke up the next morning with it stuck to my face – leaving an imprint, then I could have told everyone I got lucky that night.

Nope, that didn’t happen, so I think I can rule out the alcohol part of the equation. So why was I so chipper? Normally, I head to work with a neutral attitude. I don’t hate my job by any stretch of the imagination, its good work and I enjoy it. It’s mostly brainless and repetitive work that leaves a bit of time to do other things like write this post. Of course, it’s still work though, and so naturally there’s an underlying sense of dread that I actually HAVE to get up and leave the house if I want to eat, pay my car payments, etc, etc, you get the idea. I mean really, how quaint.

So, really, I shouldn’t have been that happy. I guess I slept well or something.

I need a vacation.

Good Times.

Well, the last few days have been interesting, to say the least.

I really don’t have the energy to explain everything that happened, and I don’t have a huge reader base anyway, so I will just file it away under ‘stuff to rant about later.’

I have some plans for this blog, so all you readers out there, tell your friends about this place. I’ve got quite a few topics lined up to talk and or rant about, and they will start showing up here with some degree of regularity.

I do, of course, plan on posting here daily, and that is still the case. I don’t really want this place to be too much of a daily journal, though it will have that feel at times.

I am not hurting for content, but I would like to ask the readers here for a favor…

If you have a topic you want an opinion on, need advice on something, or want me to write about, drop me a line either by posting a comment here or leaving me mail at my main address, Namlook@aol.com. If you’re going to read it, might as well be something worth reading, yes?

As for my day today... Well, it was less than spectacular. I work telephones for a call center. They decided to let a bunch of people leave early for the day, whereby we became immediately slammed with calls and generally irritable.

Good times.